Talpid 2

 

Hens teeth are more scarce than they used to be. not only did they activate a dormant gene to grow teeth, but they even took genetic material from mice and introduced it into chickens to form teeth. before they knew chickens already had that (dormant) capability. oh but if you do grow teeth, it'l kill you. nice.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=mutant-chicken-grows-alli

so lets see; create object, chicken, based on generic chicken. get inactive gene from ancestor chicken which is still in the blood, so to speak. set gene to active. target talpid 2, and of course you get a toothy chicken. 

sweet, i can do that:

b = Gallus()

b.setBreed(Gallus giganteus)

b.setGene(talpid2,on)

b.setAlarm(low)

b.setCausality(egg)

b.setDivination(on,oracle)

print(b)

for that matter set causality attribute while you are at it. EGG. Done. bio genetics is great.

Oh and I HATE noisy chickens in the morning. great. thank you very much

and there is Horner as well with the search for the atavistic gene:

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/09/ff_chickensaurus/3

nuff said. its meant to be made.

 

Fossil Fuel

Oops.  Still in the ER, they don't want to let me go home yet.  I told them I don't want to be sewed up...how in the heck will they sew through sharkskin?  More embarrassment for me.  Just bandage me up and let me go home, I say.

But no, the nice lady doctor seems determined to poke and prod me a little bit more.  And then she took some sample of my blood.  When she came back after that she was staring at me even more oddly.
"Um, we found some very odd material in your blood," she says hesitantly.  "Are you familiar with trilobits?" she asks.  "They're fossils...."  Her voice trails hesitantly.

Yeah, duh, what the heck?  Has she ever seen a half man, half shark in her Emergency Room?

I think not.

A brief intermission...in the emergency room

Oh damn!  I got so nervous thinking about all of this drama therapy that I starting nibbling myself again.  And again.  And again....until I damn near bit my wrist off!  Yikes!  Blood everywhere, my hand hanging by a thread.  I hopped in the car and drove myself to the ER, using one hand--oh god, my car will never be the same.

I guess the good news is that sharks have amazing healing abilities from wounds.  I've read up on this, trust me. But I'm not healing soon enough--blood everywhere!  All over me, all over the nice doctor in the ER, who keeps looking at me out of the side of her eye, like she doesn't want to stare at me. But sure, hell, why not?  I've got a shark's head (and heart?) with a man's body (and brain?).  Which one will win in the end?

Stay tuned.

To be or not to be....

Well, this has been frightening research.  I found the National Association for Drama Therapy, thinking I could find someone to help me figure out how to solve my problem, er problems.  I'm trying really, really hard here to play within the system. SO I found some videos about drama therapy and its not at all what I thought it would be!  These videos are SCARY!  I hate conflict (see this video for reference)  Or THIS video, which is confusing!

But, hmm, I COULD do that...acting out someone else's life from a photo.  Is that all it would take to cure me?  Well, if so, here is the picture I want to act out:

Half Shark, Half Jesus

Sorry to get sidetracked, but really?  Just found this website that advertises t-shirts that say "Half Man, Half Jesus."    I mean, what?  Is there some subliminal hidden message there?  I don't have time to think about it, I'm on a quest to find a drama therapist.  More later on that....

Later

Oh.  Its a band.  Oh.  Never mind.

The only thing you have to fear is....

well, that is it?  Fear?  Therapy?  Biting my hand completely off?  This isn't turning out to be a great year for me.  Summer is here, but I'm afraid to go out much for FEAR I'll bite someone.  But I am afraid to call the therapist, even though Dr. O'Shin has been on my case to do it.  I rubbed my teeth ever so slightly along the open wound today...hmmmm...see, I didn't bite any more of it!

I think I have a phobia about going to a therapist.  It makes me break out into a cold sweat just thinking about it!  I can't lie down on someone's sofa and talk about this!  What to do, what to do?

Later....I went to Wikipedia and looked up therapy.  Psychotherapy.  Ah, ok.  WOW, I want to do drama therapy! I can go onstage, achieve a catharsis and explore and transcend unhealthy personal patterns of behavior and interpersonal interaction.  Dude!  
To be or not to be, that is the question.

You say bite like it's a bad thing

Decided to visit a doctor to see if there is any treatment for my little nibbling issue.  First stop:  my general practitioner, Dr. O'Shin.  Wait in the waiting room nervously, walking up and down, down and up.  Tried not to bite myself, er, my nails.

When he finally sees me, he says I need an anti-depressant.  But, I say, I'm not depressed. Well, he says, this is what we start with when people have obsessive-compulsize behaviors.

Oh.  Is that what it is?  Then Dr. O'Shin recommends a therapist for me.  He says I probably can't cure onychophagia with medicine alone, there's maybe like a 1 in 3 chance.  But, now what?

It's got a name: Onychophagia

Cruising around Google, I found out my condition has a name. I can't even pronounce it--onychophagia--but I feel so relieved.  Wait...maybe I don't.  


So the entry I found says that chronic nail nibblers  may experience bleeding, bruises, infections, or even permanent damage to the fingers. The behavior is often unconscious, and people with this compulsion may have difficulty stopping because they may be unaware of their actions.


It's kind of exciting, especially the blood part, but, um, infections or permanent damage to the fingers?  Has anyone thought about damage to the wrist?


I wonder if there is a name for that?

Fitting into my genes

I figure I had to start somewhere. What is the best research tool out there? Google of course. and who would be surprised to find Wikipedia at the top of the list. out of  about 2,120,000 results in only 0.12 seconds. Was it just by chance that I happened to use it on the day of my Favorite Author's 183rd birthday? Destiny, had to be. Turned out to be a good place to start, at least as good as any I guess: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_engineering.
Hell, I don't even know if it was an accident or on purpose. Guess it doesn't really matter